Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Role Reversals

For some reason as I was growing up, a lot of typically "male" roles fell to me. Or maybe they didn't fall to me so much as I chose to do them. One of my favorite things to do as a child was to sit in the garage with my dad and hand him tools while he worked on one of our cars. He would have W4 Country on in the background, and to this day I feel a need to turn the radio on to 102.9 FM when I'm doing a project in the garage.

Growing up I was often called on by my sisters to kill spiders, by my dad to help build shelves or drawers, by my mom to lift things, and by the whole family to pack up the truck for vacations. I know what a flapper ball is and what it does; I know the difference between a Philips and a flat head screw driver; I know how to use a drill press, a blow torch, a random orbit sander, a jig saw, and a plethora of other tools both electric and manual. I can program the VCR, and am the household go-to for minor (emphasis on minor) computer problems. This evening, I fixed a leaky faucet by replacing the stem and springs.

Here is my question: Does this make me less feminine?

I am also a painter, I love to decorate, I LOVE shoes, I enjoy sewing and know how to use a sewing machine, I like to cross-stitch, I giggle when I come across a cute boy and know how to use my feminine wiles to gain the upper hand...

Here's my next question: Does being able to do the typically "male" jobs listed two paragraphs above make me more threatening to guys?

I'd be interested to hear your answers to both of my questions, and I have a little something to say, too. First, despite the fact that my sisters call me the "man" of our sisterhood, I think being able to do jobs or projects that men usually do and to be able to correctly use typically masculine tools is empowering to a woman. If I need something fixed or built, I just DO it! The toilet is running? Nope, not any longer. The fan belt in my car is squealing? A little belt dressing'll fix that. Need a shelf put up? Get me a level, a stud finder, a cordless screw driver and we're good. Of course there are things best left to a professional (or my dad), but it feels good to be able to tackle a project, get down and dirty, and get the job done. And my small hands often give me an advantage, too! If I happen to be listening to Backstreet Boys or the "Hello Dolly" soundtrack while I do these jobs, who's going to complain, really?

I think I'll leave the answering of the second question up to you. I like to think that any man comfortable with his masculinity wouldn't be threatened, but fall madly in love with me because he's met his ideal woman and can now proceed to spend all the money he would be spending on repairs on lavishing me with gifts. I mean, on um, helping homeless puppies.

P.S. I love this Norman Rockwell painting of Rosie the Riveter. Man, she's got huge guns! I also think it's interesting that she's got a halo and that her foot is resting on a copy of "Mein Kampf." Ah, Normy, always throwing in the little details.

16 comments:

Elizabeth Downie said...

Is a flapper ball that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat?

No, I don't think it makes you less feminine! You're good, don't worry about it. The giggling, shoes, and other very feminine things about you balance the whole thing out :) Plus, there's nothing unfeminine about doing that handy stuff. I think it's great that you know how to do all those things. That means I don't have to! Win-win!

We are womyn, hear us roar! ;) (just kidding about the spelling of women)

Katherine said...

HA! You're close on the flapper ball thing. And right on with the spelling of womyn!! ;) Or maybe it's wimmin.

Monica said...

the only reason a guy wouldnt like you being able to do all of that stuff is if he cant!!! i would totally use it to show off in front of the boys....although i also know how to play a damsal (spelling?) in distress pretty darn good :)

Brady said...

Stud finder, huh? And here I thought eHarmony was just a website. :)

I don't think that your femininity is put into question by the ability to use a screw driver or change one's oil.

It will make your future husband's honey-do list shorter. :) And since when was that a bad thing.

Katherine said...

Thanks, Brady! I feel better about myself already. Though if I do all the household fixes, my future hubby will have to do a little cooking and laundry to even things out... Fair trade, right? ;)

Brady said...

I'm down.

Christi said...

I don't think it should be an issue. Even if a guy would be threatened, it's not like he could take one look at you and know that you could change the oil in his car better than he can, you know? By the time he figures it out he'll already be incredibly in love with you and it will be too late!

Anonymous said...

Katherine i must say that i envy your talents. I wish that i could do those things. Plus, it's nice having a mister (Man-sister)to help me with things. You pretty much put the whole bookcase together when we moved into the house. What guy wouldn't love that. He'd be lucky to have you!

Katherine said...

You guys are sweet! And Brady, was that a marriage proposal?

Anonymous said...

I hate that you even have to ask that question. If any man is turned off by the fact that you are self-sufficient he is not worth your time. I have to agree with Heather. I wish I could do some of the things you can do. I feel helpless when I have to wait for Brian to come home to program my remote. I'm actually inspired by your skills. The more you can do for yourself in any field the more empowered you feel.

Anonymous said...

This just reminded me of the Simpsons when Homer tried to become a carpenter, but was horrible. Then Marge tried, and was amazing at it. But noone would hire a woman, so she used Homer to get jobs, and then would do all the work herself.
I had a similar experience growing up and being dad's little helper, and becoming the go-to person when things break down. I enjoy working on projects, they give me a sense of fulfillment. There is no reason anybody should take that away from you. And if they try to, they are a jerk and need to be kicked in the teeth.
Hope you have a great day!
-Brian Egan

Anonymous said...

Brian would voulnteet to be the one to kick them in the teeth, but I think we all know you can do your own teeth kicking.

Katherine said...

Ah, Polly and Brian, that's funny stuff! I love that Simpsons episode! And you're right, Pollz, I probably could do my own teeth-kicking, but I might have Brian do it anyway, 'cause he's bigger. :)

Ben said...

Nope, doesn't make you less feminine.

Now if you start spitting everywhere, belching as loud as you can and scratching yourself in public then I'd have to sit you down and discuss my concerns for you.

Katherine said...

Thanks, Ben, I'll keep that in mind!

Andy Owen said...

Katherine, thanks for the link!

I'm backtracking through your blog and thought I'd comment here first:

I think it'd be sweet if my wife could do half of that stuff...because then at least one of us would be able to.

I do the dishes, the laundry, the groceries, take the trash to the curb (I guess that was my dad's job as a kid though) and help clean the house once a week (we're slightly anal about having a clean home).

She does the bills and has the full-time job as a Financial Aid Counselor at MSU while I sit at home designing graphics, and doing video production/motion graphics.

It's all about finding someone who you can find balance with. So long as that balance works for the two of you, it shouldn't matter.

(I didn't like the way she folded the laundry, it was....well, wrong.) :)

Why can't either of us write short little blurbs?