And I Quote...

Years ago I started jotting down funny things people said. I had these nuggets on napkins, scraps of paper, receipts, etc. Finally I took this little notebook that I'd bought in Thailand and started to compile the quotes there. There are some real treasures in this little book of mine!

The whole thing really started with my sister Elizabeth. Having lived together for so many years, I have been witness to some real slap-happiness and intense silliness (I include myself in this, too) which has resulted in some hilarious and sometimes profound quotes. Since I'm a nice sister and am letting her approve of which quotes will go up here, and she's still out of town, I thought I'd warm you up with a few other quotes (then post hers at a later date). Some of these are from TV/Movies, some are from friends. Enjoy!

Quotes from friends:

"Katherine, there's something you must know: At heart, at my core, I am an adolescent girl." -Dave Pate

"What I need is a big tub of lust." -Joe Donnellon (while watching "Shrek 2")

"And I'm SO mad! Warlocks get 28-slot bags!" -Jen Irwin, talking about WOW

"It was a real tractor beam, if you will, for the babes." -Todd Lillian, talking about his "Star Trekathon"

"Awkwardness isn't so much a fear as a way of life." -Megan Mason

"So I just walked from the car to school and I couldn't have done a better job wetting my pants." -Quincy Harrison (it was raining hard)

"If I had a heart, it would be broken right now." -Jason Evans

"It's like last call." -Seth Johnson, talking about engagement

"My fantasy would be completely different...including some tight yellow pants, but yeah..." -Camilla Broderick

"I do love swine...as is evidenced by my dating record." -Megan Mason, talking about her pig collection

"I forgot it was Wednesday." -Me "Yeah, I have that effect on women." -Joe Donnellon

Quotes from TV/Movies:

"We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey!" -Kramer ("Seinfeld")

"Just look at him - square...the shape of EVIL!" -Plankton ("SpongeBob")

"Who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a Love Newton?" -Mr. Peterman ("Seinfeld")

"I think 'better a happy idiot than someone who knows the truth'." -Michael Scott ("The Office")

"It was a tough night at the senior center. I had to flip the checkerboard in a fit of rage a little earlier than usual." - Arthur ("King of Queens")

"I'm bakin' like a toaster cheeser! It's so hot here!" -Ham ("Sandlot")

"Ah, Squints was pervin' a dish." -Yeah-Yeah - explaining why it took them so long to get there ("Sandlot")

"Pride is an abomination. One must forgo the self to attain total spiritual creaminess and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation." -Ace Ventura ("Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls")

"He who ha-ha's last ha-ha's best." -Nelson ("The Simpsons")

"Oh, I love today's music. 'Frere' this, 'Jacques' that...outta sight." -"Meaux" (Moe on "The Simpsons" during the "Count of Monte Fatso" story after Bart and Lisa had been singing "Frere Jacques.")

"...And I fell to my death." - Bill ("Still Standing" - after starting to tell his kids about this time he snuck out of his house, he said the above after getting a warning look from his wife - click on the link for some other funny quotes from that episode)


Well, those are some highlights. Do you have any funny quotes, either from people you know or from the media? Share, please! I love a good quote...in case you couldn't tell...