An Artistic Analysis: Are Matthew McConaughey's Arms Proportionate To the Size of His Ego?

I assure you, my readers, that this photo is not here to be oggled at. It is here for scientific purposes only. It just so happens that it's rather difficult to find a picture of Matthew McConaughey with his arms down at his side and his shirt on. Ok, it's hard to find a picture of Matthew McConaughey with his shirt on, period.

It was brought to my attention recently (by Elizabeth) that Matthew McConaughey's arms are short - that they are not in proportion with his body. As an artist and someone who has studied the human figure, I was intrigued. As a result of my initial intrigue, I have studied in some depth the proportions of Matthew McConaughey's arms in proportion to his body. Again, I assure you that this was done purely for scientific purposes.

The basic proportions of the average adult human body can be measured using that person's head as a guide. (See chart.*) For example, the average person is 7 1/2 heads tall. (Again, using that person's head as a measuring tool; if you use another person's head it might not work as well.)

Some other handy proportions:

-From the top of the head (t.o.t.h.) to the pit of the neck is 1 1/2 heads

-From the t.o.t.h. to the sternum/nipples is 2 heads

-From the t.o.t.h. to the navel is 3 heads

-From the t.o.t.h. to the knee/bottom of the patella is 5 1/2 heads

Two other proportions that have particular relevance to my study are:

-The upper arm from the shoulder to the elbow is 1 1/2 heads

-The lower arm from the elbow to the wrist is 1 1/4 heads

Now it's time for some Dwight Shrute-style facts.

Fact: Matthew McConaughey's upper arm is approximately 1 1/8 heads long.**

Fact: The aforementioned celebrity's lower arm is approximately 1 head long. **

I believed upon discovering this that the results of my studies were fairly clear: Matthew McConaughey's arms are too short in proportion to his body.

However...

I reflected back on the fact that it was difficult for me to find a photo of Mr. McConaughey with his arms at his side AND his shirt on...note, again, that it was hard to find a picture of him with a shirt on at all. I hypothesized that perhaps it was not Matthew's arms that were too short, but that it might be that his head, the tool which I was using to measure his arms, was too big. I knew that the only way I could decide conclusively would be to do further research.

After many grueling hours on Google Images, and thousands of photos of Matthew at various beaches, parks, parties, premiers, awards shows, etc, later, I came up with a few new facts:

Fact: Matthew McConaughey had his shirt off in 83.5% of photos taken out-of-doors***

Fact: Matthew McConaughey had a slightly grumbly look on his face in 78.3% of photos taken fully clothed***

Fact: Matthew McConaughey is totally buffed out****

The conclusion I arrived at based on these results is the following:

Matthew McConaughey's head is larger than the average human male. This is caused, no doubt, by the fact that his ego is 7.3 times larger than that of the average male, female, or orangutan.***** As a result of the large size of his head, the measurements I initially did of his arms were inaccurate. It appears that they are proportionate to the rest of his body, they are just small when compared to his ego.

*Special thanks go out to my Life Drawing professor for the original chart, which I have adapted here.

**These are based on measurements done using photos only. Should I have the opportunity to measure Matthew's arms in person, I would surely swoon and end up stabbing him with my pencil or something.

***These facts are completely made up.

****This one's true.

*****Made that one up, too.