Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Before it's too late!!!

Yesterday I was helping one of my kindergarten/1st grade classes get ready for lunch when two of the girls in the class got in a little bit of a tiff. One of the girls (we'll call her Ella) was crying and mad at the other girl ("Hannah" for our story here) and Hannah said, "Ella, why are you so mad at me? We've been best friends since last year!" Ah, youth.

While I was dealing with the mini drama between the girls, I wasn't paying too much attention to the other students who were lining up for lunch. All of a sudden little Ana comes up to me and says, "Joey kissed me and I didn't like it!" Now HOW am I supposed to keep a straight face? I couldn't!! I chuckled a little and said, "Joey, you're not supposed to be doing that until you're at least 16! Didn't you know that girls have cooties?" A roomful of 5 and 6 year-olds does not get my sarcasm. After the crickets subsided, I told Joey he needed to respect Ana's space and not do that unless she wanted him to.

I also encouraged Ana to use her "I statements," which is something we try to get all of the students (k-8th grade) to do. For example, Ana could say, "Joey, I don't like it when you kiss me." It's a way to get the kids solving problems on their own and also to not just get mad and yell at/tell on someone, ie: "He kissed me!" It's quite effective for all ages!

I breezed past that cootie comment back there, but would like to talk about them for a minute. I don't think that I was fully prepared as a child for all that cooties entail. Wikipedia, the most accurate website of all time, gives us the following information about cooties: One catches cooties through any form of bodily contact, proximity, contact with an infected person's possessions, square-dancing, or third-party transmission. I didn't know you could get cooties from square dancing!! Oh, I'm doomed.

I have some questions about cooties, too. Do you become immune when you get married? Is it like building up an immunity to iocane powder, done little by little? What if a boy tries to do something like (heaven forbid) hold your hand, and you haven't been immunized? The horror.

Here is a video that should be required viewing for all children:

I tell you, my cootie shot is WAAAAY past due.

I'd like to take a moment here to use an "I statement" of my own:

I don't like it when boys give me cooties.

So, be prepared my friends. Don't Procrastinate your immunization!! If you do, it could be too late.

6 comments:

D said...

circle circle dot dot- there you're immune!

Britt said...

Oh my goodness, how hilarious!! I love your cootie post! I laughed so hard! I love the little blond kid in the video: so sincere and sullen! Poor tyke! Wow, I'm thankful to be teaching adults, I'm not sure how you keep up with them, but I'm sure they love you!

Elizabeth Downie said...

I love that video!! So funny. Good post :) Is it bad that I kind of wish a boy would give me cooties? haha

Christi said...

Tell that Ana girl that she should consider herself lucky!

Mike said...

Yeah, it's a dangerous world out there. Luckily, I've done a pretty good job keeping myself free of cooties. It's tough, but totally worth it.

mikemetcalf said...

While complete cootie immunity is impossible, the effects are subdued significantly upon signing the marriage contract. For example, hand-holding and even kissing do not bring on the typical bouts of butterflies and vomiting, but rather induce a pacifying sensation. Of course, one should still be weary of toxins transmitted through overly concentrated perfume and cologne, but if used in moderation, these toxins have proven to have certain short-term benefits, the details of which cannot be disclosed at this point in time.