Next Wednesday is a rather big day for me - I will be having my first defense for my graduate thesis. Sleep is being lost, face is breaking out, brain is threatening to malfunction completely... But it definitely is making me stop and think - why am I doing what I am doing?Over the years I've had a lot of people give me a funny Look when I say that I'm getting a degree in art. Even when I got my bachelors in Art Education (and figured the teaching certificate made me so much more legitimate!) I felt like people were thinking, "Yeah, she's never gonna get a job." I know, because I was one of them. Then, miracle of miracles, I got a teaching job the week I graduated (in December, no less!). It wasn't ideal, but it was a job and kept me in practice.
The one downfall of my teaching job was that it left me with little time and even less energy to work on my own artwork. When I reached a breaking point at that job, I decided that it was time to go back to school. Fast forward to today and me preparing to defend my choices to a panel of professors here at Kendall. 40 minutes of me telling them why I do what I do, but more specifically:
-Why do I paint the subject matter I do?
-What is the concept behind my work?
-Why still life (using history of genre)?
-Why this particular size paintings?
-Why this particular type of paper? (Why paper and not watercolor board?)
-Why watercolor (using history/development of medium, which artists used it/made it popular, etc)?
-What artists/art periods have influenced me and why?
And on and on. I talk, they ask questions, they send me out of the room and deliberate, then call me back in and tell me whether or not I pass. If they pass me on, I'm good to go and can finish up my degree. If not...well, thankfully not many people don't pass, so I don't really know what would happen then!
As I lay in bed last night I thought, "Holy crud!! I'm getting my masters in painting!!! How did that happen?!" I mean, painting, of all things. Sometimes even I can't believe it, so if you're surprised by it, you're not alone. What it comes down to, though, is that I love to paint (specifically with watercolors). I also love that I can teach others how to paint (and draw). I may be poor, but at least I'm doing something I enjoy. Maybe next Wednesday I'll start with that!
3 comments:
I know just how you feel. I was a nervous wreck for weeks leading up to my orals.
A piece of advice Dan Magleby gave me beforehand - "No matter how much you study for it, you'll always wish afterward that you had studied less." I don't think that's a great attitude to walk into your thesis panel with, but in retrospect I've always felt after each experience like that, "Why was I so rattled? I was ready for that." You'll be fine.
I can't believe it, but not because you're not good at it,you're great! But because it is so cool! I mean painting! How bad ace is that! I think your art is amazing and creative and I can't draw a stick figure worth a darn and I envy you. You know we are all behind you 100% and you are going to kick butt on wed.
What kind of sister am I that I'm JUST now commenting on this!? I'm sorry. It's been a crazy weekend!
But anyhoo, just reading this post helped me decide against getting a masters in painting. I've been considering it (secretly) for quite some time, but now I see that it isn't for me.
Good luck. You'll do great! You always do!
Oh, and when the ask "why this type of paper?" Just say, "your mom went to college" - Kip style. Works every time.
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