How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?

A few nights ago, Elizabeth and I were chatting late in the evening. It might be more correct to say that it was the wee hours of the morning, actually. She was checking the news online and came across an article talking about a Group that was protesting a new movie. While we could sort of see where they were coming from, we still felt like this Group was taking the meaning of the movie the wrong way.

Elizabeth decided that her new calling in life was going to be renting movies and finding reasons to protest them. She realized that this might be less-effective than protesting movies that are in theaters, but figures you've got to start somewhere. I suggested she start with "Singin' In the Rain." She decided the first movie she'd tackle would be one of her favorites, "The Sound Of Music."

Keep in mind, it was very late.

So, what is there to protest in this movie? Well, first, why does the Fraulein have to be played by a woman? Why can't it be Fraulein Mario? Or...whatever the male equivalent for "Fraulein" is... Elizabeth said that instead of nuns in a convent, the movie could feature monks in a monastery. I suggested that Mario Lopez play, well, Mario. Elizabeth suggested that he wear lederhosen. I suggested that he also wear a hat when running through the fields singing "I Have Confidence!" Then there was some singing (by me) of "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Ma-reee-oooo?" and some gut-busting laughter as we pictured the monks singing and dancing through the monastery with Mario in his lederhosen...

It only got better from there.

I figured that Captain Von Trapp could still be a Captain, but should be Mrs. Captain Von Trapp. It took us a while to figure out who should play Mrs. Captain Von Trapp. After a lot of thought, Elizabeth decided that the perfect person for the role would be none other than...Julie Andrews! She can be all strict with her whistle-blowing (and I don't mean calling attention to illegal activities...) and will fall in love with the clumsy but lovable Fraulein Mario. Of course, the kids will still play the usual tricks on Mario - the frog in the pocket of his lederhosen, the pine cone on his dining room chair, etc. Of course Mario will play the guitar, but in a modern twist, he will teach the kids how to dance. And naturally he will make clothes for the kids out of the draperies - he's a liberated monk with mad seamstressing skills!

I think we knew we'd gone too far when we talked about Liesl being played by a guy who is only "16 going on 17" and needs to depend on his older girlfriend, the telegram delivery girl. We did decide that Uncle Max will remain Uncle Max, though The Baroness would of course be switched to The Baron.

There's already been Oscar buzz...

Maybe Elizabeth and I should stop speaking to each other after midnight. You never know what we'll say after that.