A Day Without Celebrities Is Like a Documentary About Snails...

...slow and boring.

I feel a need to bring my readers up-to-date on my experience as a celebrity. Although maybe I should be careful about playing it so fast and loose with the word "celebrity." "Slave" would be more accurate, or maybe my proper title, "Background."

I got called back Monday and Tuesday of last week as an Extra for "Whip It." I'd had such a fun and unique experience the first time that I decided to go back for round 2. I went solo this time, and felt a little like the new kid in school, or else a kid whose best friend has moved away so she has to try to get to know the other kids now, even though she ignored them completely before and mocked them on more than one occasion.

I was a little nervous.

I got to the warehouse and knew right off the bat as I pulled into the Extras parking area that this was not going to be like last time. How did I know so quickly? Because Stripedy and Dubber were not there. It was with a heavy heart that I pulled into my parking space as guided by the security guard directing traffic (what little there was) this time. He was friendly enough, but he was no Stripedy. How could anyone live up to that title?

I entered the warehouse and found a much smaller number of Extras there than before. Score one for Katherine - I'd be in more shots! I retired to my corner of the holding tent and read a little bit in between people watching. I saw a few familiar faces: Afro was back, as were Short Skirt, Underage Hottie, McMuscles, and a few of the Self Importants (no Business Man By Day, though). We were called in fairly quickly, which was nice, and got pretty darned busy standing around. I ended up next to a really nice woman who was all sorts of motivational. She was telling me that I can do anything I put my mind to. That's right, I can! Let's hear it for Motivational Lady!

The rest of the day was, well...let's just say that there's no reason to break down the day minute-by-minute this time around. It was hot as BLAZES in the warehouse, and they didn't bring water around to us nearly enough. Needless to say, we all got a little grumpy pretty quickly. To top off the heat, thirst, and grumpiness, we had a severe lack of celebrities in the house! When we first got there, Kristen Wiig and Eve were there, but that didn't last too long. They filmed a couple of scenes, then Kristen was done for good here in Detroit. She came back a few hours later with a new hair cut and her copy of Derby Girl (which the movie is based on) for her fellow actors/stand-ins/stunt people to sign, and stood right next to me talking to them. Then she left. I ran after her crying and screaming, begging her not to go, to come back and entertain the Background, to hang out with us, anything to make the time go by quicker, but she simply patted me on the head and said, "Katherine, Katherine. Silly girl. You're just Background. I'm afraid I can't help you, minion." Okay, so I didn't really run after her, and she didn't really talk to me, but I wanted to, and I imagine that's what she would have said.

The rest of the day was spent standing, screaming and shouting, standing, pantomiming, standing, sweating, standing, complaining, and standing. The terrible thing was that, not only were Stripedy and Dubber missing, but so were Sarah's and my Boyfriends, as well as the rest of the regular crew that was there last time. Even Drew was absent! Where were they?! They had a new crew there, which included Dana Carvey Look-alike, and Good Looking Stunt Director (Jeff Dashnell). Jeff was pretty funny, but New Extras Coordinator (who replaced Stripedy, Dubber, and Sir Mics-A-Lot) was a little grumpy and rather like a high school gym teacher. I was never a big fan of gym in high school...

Despite my former mocking attitude, some of the other Extras were super-duper friendly, and I made some new friends: Girl From India Whose Name I Can't Remember (she was really nice, and we spent quite a bit of time talking about the Others, including Guy Who Didn't Know Where India Was...), Two Girls Who Were Funny and Friendly, and Interesting Guy Who Likes To Talk About Books And Looked A Little Like A Lumberjack. I also made an arch-enemy: Guy Who Pretended He Knew Me But Was Really An Annoying Git. I think the name is fairly self-explanatory...

A rather important highlight from this time was my New Boyfriend Jamie. Ahhh, Jamie. Jamie was there last time but slightly out-shone by my Old Boyfriend. He (Jamie) plays one of the referees, but also works the skate camera (any shots you see in the movie that are in with the skaters are shot by him). He had a pack strapped onto his back and a $200,000 camera in his beautifully muscular arms, and skated around filming. He was dreamy. And, unlike with Old Boyfriend, I actually talked to and flirted it up with Jamie...and he flirted right on back. (For details and a wedding invitation, see me.)

Tuesday was better since the weather was cooler, Juliette Lewis was back (though only for a little while), I got a high-five from Jeff, Guy Who Pretended He Knew Me But Was Really An Annoying Git wasn't there, and we only had an 8-hour day. Not as magical as before, but at least I got paid.

So, as we like to say in The Biz... "Cut, check the gates...that's a wrap, folks."